It is, without question, extremely difficult to take those First Steps to Freedom from an abusive relationship.
As we have previously stated, if you have identified your situation as being abusive and want to extract yourself from it, YOU CANNOT DO SO ALONE!
The first step is to seek support and this is best offered by either an individual Counsellor/Therapist, or directly via an organisation that is specifically geared to offering a full range of support services.
If you just feel that you need to go slowly and want initially to talk, a Counsellor would be the ideal first step to take, as he/she will be able to listen to you without making any judgements and then prepare you to take the next steps, feeling confident in your own decsions.
As promised, here are a few links to organisations that will LISTEN TO YOU.
Their help is not obligatory, but they will listen and make suggestions for you to follow:
Counselling
http://builtcleversolutions.webs.com
builtcleversolutions@gmail.com
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
http://refuge.org.uk/
http://www.victimsupport.com/
http://www.samaritans.org/
http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/
UK National Domestic Violence Freephone:
0808 2000 247
Women's Aid National Domestic Violence Helpline:
0345 023 468
Remember this:
You have a RIGHT to live in peace, harmony and safety.
Abuse is No Use!
Showing posts with label Relationships;. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships;. Show all posts
Tuesday, 26 October 2010
Sunday, 29 August 2010
The Cycle of Abuse - Chapter 1
How many women are trapped in abusive relationships that they cannot escape from?
This is not a rhetorical question - the simple answer is Too Many!
Whilst there has been a definite shift of emphasis, with women becoming empowered to take action to change their lives, there is still a strong undercurrent of subjugation in households from which there is little chance of liberty.
This story will follow the life of one such 'victim' who, sadly, is still living under these circumstances, with little hope of retribution...
Natalie is typical - typical in the sense that she has just followed life's path - met a guy, fell pregnant at 20 - raised the family, worked, kept things going and stayed the course. The decisions she made to stay on this course were influenced heavily by a number of external factors, not the least of which was the subjugation of a typical bully. She came from a 'broken home', parents having split due to the abuse of an alcoholic husband (is there a pattern emerging?) - a home that was otherwise of good calibre - she attended ballet classes and participated in local events as part of the community - so she was given a better start in life than some.
Fred was your typical 'jack the lad' - popular with the girls, liberal with his attention, and totally lacking in any kind of respect for women beyond satisfying his own needs. Does this sound attractive to some of you?.
Read on...
He came from a large family, most of whom were 'carved from the same loaf'; crime, drink, drugs, violence, theft, and a catalogue of unsavoury episodes that most 'sensible' girls would give a wide berth to. Work was sporadic, and any money derived from it went straight down his throat. CB Radio was all the rage then, so access to 'vunerable' girls was even easier via the precursor to modern-day social networks. This was how he met Natalie, one of several girls he was sexually active with.
When Natalie was three months pregnant with her first child, she found out that Fred had been with another girl and that she was pregnant too. Despite his infidelity and promiscuity, she gave him an ultimatum; "choose her or me". This was the fateful decision that plunged her into over twenty years of misery - he chose her.
The infidelity didn't stop - a string of 'affairs' ensued, interlaced with alcoholic episodes, to which she had no answer, other than, perhaps, to blame herself?
This was the beginning of the 'Cycle of Abuse' - the start of 'self-justification' for his actions - a desperate attempt of a vunerable, young, single women to 'hold it all together'. She'd seen what had happened to her parents - this couldn't happen again, so it must be her fault...
This is not a rhetorical question - the simple answer is Too Many!
Whilst there has been a definite shift of emphasis, with women becoming empowered to take action to change their lives, there is still a strong undercurrent of subjugation in households from which there is little chance of liberty.
This story will follow the life of one such 'victim' who, sadly, is still living under these circumstances, with little hope of retribution...
Natalie is typical - typical in the sense that she has just followed life's path - met a guy, fell pregnant at 20 - raised the family, worked, kept things going and stayed the course. The decisions she made to stay on this course were influenced heavily by a number of external factors, not the least of which was the subjugation of a typical bully. She came from a 'broken home', parents having split due to the abuse of an alcoholic husband (is there a pattern emerging?) - a home that was otherwise of good calibre - she attended ballet classes and participated in local events as part of the community - so she was given a better start in life than some.
Fred was your typical 'jack the lad' - popular with the girls, liberal with his attention, and totally lacking in any kind of respect for women beyond satisfying his own needs. Does this sound attractive to some of you?.
Read on...
He came from a large family, most of whom were 'carved from the same loaf'; crime, drink, drugs, violence, theft, and a catalogue of unsavoury episodes that most 'sensible' girls would give a wide berth to. Work was sporadic, and any money derived from it went straight down his throat. CB Radio was all the rage then, so access to 'vunerable' girls was even easier via the precursor to modern-day social networks. This was how he met Natalie, one of several girls he was sexually active with.
When Natalie was three months pregnant with her first child, she found out that Fred had been with another girl and that she was pregnant too. Despite his infidelity and promiscuity, she gave him an ultimatum; "choose her or me". This was the fateful decision that plunged her into over twenty years of misery - he chose her.
The infidelity didn't stop - a string of 'affairs' ensued, interlaced with alcoholic episodes, to which she had no answer, other than, perhaps, to blame herself?
This was the beginning of the 'Cycle of Abuse' - the start of 'self-justification' for his actions - a desperate attempt of a vunerable, young, single women to 'hold it all together'. She'd seen what had happened to her parents - this couldn't happen again, so it must be her fault...
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